It is not uncommon for women to turn to their mothers on their wedding day for “something borrowed.” Sometimes they wear the same dress their mothers wore, and sometimes they wear a significant piece of jewelry.

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to remember her mother on her wedding day. But when a woman’s younger half-sister asked to wear her mother’s necklace even though she was not related to her, the woman refused – and rightly so.

The woman asked on Reddit whether it was wrong to deny her sister the right to wear the necklace.

In the now-deleted Reddit post, the woman explained that she was 27 years old and that she wore the same necklace that her mother wore to her father’s wedding, so the necklace had a lot of meaning for her.

Her mother died and her father later met another woman and had her half-sister Leah. And this is where things get complicated. Leah’s mother and father are no longer together.

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Recently, Leah asked the woman if she could wear the same necklace she wore at her wedding.

“This was a touchy subject. Although my mother wanted me to pass on all of her jewelry, my father had given Leah a few things when she was a child,” the woman wrote in her post. “He told me I had no say in the matter and he loved my mother and wanted both of his daughters to have pieces of hers, even though Leah is not my mother’s child.”

“I still don’t like that she has jewelry from my mom,” she added. “But I know Dad taught her to see it as something cute.”

It is safe to say that the woman’s father has tactlessly disregarded his eldest daughter’s right to decide about her mother’s affairs, so it is understandable why she would not want to lend her sister her mother’s necklace, even for a day.

“I told her she couldn’t borrow it, but I offered to lend her some of my jewelry. Things that had nothing to do with my mother,” the woman explained. “Leah told me that wasn’t fair and that she wanted to get married on my wedding day in some way that I wanted.”

Leah didn’t take no for an answer and urged the woman to lend her the necklace.

After the woman’s initial “no,” she wasn’t pressuring her sister, but rather not recognizing her place and not respecting her boundaries. Leah asked if she would feel differently if her parents didn’t pay for the wedding, even though that had nothing to do with it.

“She told me she knew I didn’t like her parents and she didn’t think I should take it out on her,” the woman repeated. “I said no, it’s not that, it’s just that I don’t want to share my mother’s jewelry with her. That I never wanted her to have my mother’s things. That’s all, Dad.”

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“She accused me of controlling my mother,” she added. “She told me she had as much right to do so as I did.”

The woman questioned Leah’s logic, reminding her that she still had her mother. The sister argued that her father loved no one more than the woman’s mother, and that bonding with her on her wedding day would make her feel loved and accepted by her father.

While Leah’s desire to feel connected to her sister and her sister’s mother on their wedding day is understandable, she doesn’t fully understand the sensitivity of the subject matter. As the woman pointed out, Leah still has her mother, whereas the woman in the post does not.

Despite her own emotional struggles, Leah has no idea of ​​the pain her older sister feels after losing their mother. And it’s unfair to cross the line when it comes to her mother’s personal belongings.

Unfortunately, the girl could not understand this and concentrated exclusively on the feelings it triggered in her.

“She wants to feel like I love her like a real sister and not like a half-hearted thing that I wish didn’t exist,” the woman explained. “She told me that I could show her that by lending her the necklace. I still said no.”

Reddit users argued that Leah would override a woman’s right to withhold meaningful memories of her mother.

It’s unfortunate that Leah has developed some insecurities about her role in her father’s life, but it’s his job to change that. The girl’s feelings are valid, but they don’t negate the woman’s pain at losing her mother and having to share her prized possessions against her will.

“It’s really sad that a woman (Leah) never knew apparently means more to her than her own mother because her father made it so clear that HE sees her that way,” one person commented on the post, pinning the father as the cause of Leah’s insecurities.

Although Leah already owned several pieces of jewelry from the woman’s mother, she could not understand why her reaction to her sister’s refusal to share such valuable jewelry was selfish.

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Leah could have chosen to wear any other jewelry from the woman’s mother, or perhaps something from her own mother, but she insisted on wearing the same necklace that her older sister’s mother had worn on her wedding day, thereby depriving her of the last sentimental connection she had to her mother.

Although she probably just wants to feel a stronger connection with her father and sister, this is going too far and it’s simply not her place to even ask.

Hopefully, Leah will eventually rise above herself and realize that her older sister’s feelings on this matter are valid. Both sisters will likely need therapy to process the emotional baggage they have both internalized so that Leah can one day respect her sister’s right to remember her mother and focus on nurturing her relationship with her own mother.

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Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human issues, adventure and spirituality.