Well prepared for fame
A memory of James Earl Jones.
In the film “The Great White Hope” he played the black boxer Jack Johnson.
As Johnson – a blond man in the front seat – was driving through the South, he was stopped by the police, had to pay a $50 fine and then gave the officer a hundred dollar bill.
The policeman asked why.
The fighter said: “The reason is that I am coming back.”
Jimmy added, “Be resilient. Grow taller. Never let an oppressive society get you down.”
Fine lines
In Jeffrey Zaslow’s paperback “Talk of Fame,” Sonny Bono is quoted as saying: “Cher She shouldn’t focus on glamour. She should take on the role of a grandmother. But she never gets beyond that.”
What Cher wants to say to Sonny has not yet been printed.
For example, there is Chazz Palminteri’s “The bigger you are, the nicer you should be, because then you have more reasons to be in a better mood.”
Judy Brown’s Comedy Thesaurus reports Jay Leno’s “Two out of three women have had sex with someone in their office. But I can’t even get the toner in my copier.”
Gladys Knight, who is annoyed by the stars’ preference for youth, says: “It’s as if they were saying, ‘OK, it was your turn, old lady.'”
Our late comedian Milton Berle – the rising star of emerging television – once joined me on the air to talk about his wonderful grandchildren, “Gloria and John.”
Seconds after we finished the program, his wife Ruth called and said, “That’s not the name of our grandchildren. Their names are James and Mathew.”
1861.
Abraham Lincoln saw an elderly lady, overdressed and wearing a plumed hat, fall into a puddle while crossing the street.
He reportedly said: “Like a duck. Feathers on the head, down on the butt.”
Pretty.
When Harry Truman learned that Roosevelt wanted him as vice president, he replied kindly: “Let him go to hell.”
But then there are the good things.
Just now, for example, even though uniformed New York police officers were everywhere – in the buildings and bodegas of the Upper East Side that were closed for a debate dinner with Biden – Hugh Grant and his wife strolled down Second Avenue.
No coat, no tie, no hat, no sunglasses.
The blue eyes could be seen from across 74th Street.
Like Trisha Yearwood: “On a really bad day, I put on a hat. It works. People think you’re cool.”
LL Cool J stays cool.
He says, “Don’t use too many colors. Forget sneakers that look like you’ve stepped in different flavors of sorbet.” Or anything else!
Tipping
David Letterman’s loving holiday thoughts.
“Often a relative asks, ‘How long has Mom been drinking like this?’ Just because after various Bloody Marys she says to the turkey, ‘Here, kitten, kitten …'”
Here come the immortal words of Woody Allen, who says so beautifully: “Sex is great between the right man and the right woman. The problem is, it’s hard to get between the right man and the right woman.”
AND in the famous words of the famous Plato, this famous comment became famous: “Diet without exercise is impossible. When I was young, I thought a 10-mile run was nothing – and I still don’t.”
And to quote the not-so-famous words of the infamous Madam Adams: “Me neither.”
