Hello! I’m Laura Bradley, cultural critic and Bachelor compulsive. The Golden Bachelorette is here, and I’m ready to laugh, cry, and cringe along Joan’s journey with you. The limo entrances were a little lame (no unicorn heads, unfortunately), but there’s plenty to talk about. Spoiler alert!

What happened this week 📺

America has met (or re-met) its first Golden Bachelorette, Joan Vassos. Here are the highlights from the first night and the best reactions from social media:

What we learned about Joan: Joan lost her husband of 32 years to pancreatic cancer in 2021. Now she’s looking for someone who can make her feel “visible” like he did. As Valerie Monroe wrote, she has “a remarkable authenticity.” (People/Yahoo Entertainment)

Who had the most notable performance: The real romantic was Jonathan, who wore an eye mask that Joan had to remove so they could really see each other. Did I mention that he gave her a poem later? *fans himself* (Entertainment weekly)

Who is eliminated: Thomas, Bill, Pablo, Ken, David and RJ… we barely knew you. Most of these cuts were no surprise, but I was rooting for RJ after he made a joke about being a 6’5″ guy with blue eyes who works in finance. Tragic! (Today)

Senior superlatives 🏆

1️⃣ Most likely to bring his daughter to work: Mark

As sweet as it was to see Bach When Kelsey Anderson introduces her father, Mark must learn to shine on his own. It shouldn’t be hard – he seems like a silver fox with a heart of gold. Watch the scene. (GMA)

2️⃣ Best dressed: Jack

I respect that this proud racquetball champion dared to wear a pink jacket in a sea of ​​tasteful neutrals. And even better, he’s a retired chef and cooked Joan a sumptuous meal. 10/10! (Entertainment Weekly)

3️⃣ Best Deception: Charles K.

Charles came up with a cane, faked a wobbly walk, then dropped down and gave us 20. Was this act funny or show-offy? As someone who can’t do push-ups, I had to laugh. (Entertainment Weekly)

4️⃣ Best Dad Joke: Chock

Chock did his homework: Joan’s chicken noodle soup is famous on TikTok, so he brought his own “Chock-a-Noodle” soup. Free food And a clever play on words? What more could a girl want? (TikTok/Variety)

5️⃣ Most likely to move into the villa: Charles L.

Has anyone ever been more excited about the Bachelor Mansion kitchen than Charles L.? Watch out, Joan. He might be here for all the wrong reasons (like more counter space and a full fridge). (House Beautiful)

Everything about the rose for the first impression 🌹

Are you ready for a little Bachelor history? In 2004, Jesse Palmer became the first Bachelor to hand out a First Impression Rose, and by 2007, it became routine. Bachelorettes have always done a much better job of sniffing out their final choice from the start.

Who Joan gave it to: That would be “girl daddy” Keith, who drove up in a station wagon. Much like a practical car, Keith ticks many boxes: tall, warm, easy-going. No wonder Joan raced past all the other men to give him the rose. (USA Today)

Who, Joan should have had given to: Am I the only one with a crush on Jordan? He has a great smile, started a rousing game of pickleball and even brought a Chicago-themed sweater for her granddaughter. What can I say? Gifts are my love language. (My co-star Valerie has also jumped on the Jordan bandwagon!) (People/Yahoo Entertainment)

Can I kidnap you for a minute? 💬

A one-on-one conversation with Kristen Baldwin

Each week, I talk to a Bachelor Nation superfan. In Week 1, I was thrilled to meet Entertainment Weekly TV critic Kristen Baldwin—one of my favorite recaps in the game.

Laura: You interviewed Joan. Why is she such an exciting leading actress?

Kristen: She is a very elegant, dignified lady and it is impossible not to root for her. She is also someone who knows what she wants, so I don’t think she will say “I love you” to more than one person. (*cough* Gerry *cough*)

Laura: How is The Golden Bachelorette be different than The Golden Bachelor?

Kristen: I think it could be funnier. From what I’ve heard, it sounds like the villa is turning into some sort of senior citizen dorm, with a lot of silly – and sometimes emotional – bonding between men.

Laura: If you had to be trapped in an elevator with one of these guys, who would you choose and why?

Kristen: I would choose Gary. He is Tina Turner’s godson, so he must have incredible stories.

Go deeper: Kristen found out how Joan saw the premiere for the first time. Read the interview.

Golden moment of masculinity 👴

Is there anything that screams “baby boomer dating rituals” louder than Jack (aka Mr. Pink Jacket) serenading Joan with Frank Sinatra? When he got all the men to sing it together, I swore the earth shook. (Variety)

😢 This week’s scream counter: I counted ten times that first night that Joan and the other participants cried, mostly because of the video messages from the participants’ children.

About InReality: When Wednesday evenings are for watching The Golden Bachelorettethen Thursday morning is time to delve into every detail with Laura Bradley, our Golden Bachelorette Correspondent. Sign in.