We know that sport is hugely beneficial for children and young adults, both physically and mentally. But sometimes existing sport systems don’t promote the healthiest practices for all athletes – and that can be difficult for families involved in youth sport.

Tom Farrey is the founder and executive director of the Aspen Institute’s Sports & Society Program, which includes the Project Play initiative dedicated to promoting child and community health through sport. Here, he joins the TrueSport community to discuss the issues facing youth sports in the United States today and how parents can best help foster a love of sport in their young athletes.

Farrey begins by noting that it’s important to understand that while youth sports programs in the U.S. can be problematic at times, participation in sports activities is incredibly important to a child’s well-being. “Sports can be a tool for physical and mental health. Research clearly shows that children who are physically active are one-tenth less likely to be obese compared to inactive children,” Farrey says. “They’re more likely to stay in school. They’re more likely to go to college. In general, they engage in less risky behavior.”

In 2008, Farrey, then an investigative reporter, published the book “Game On: The All-American Race to Make Our Kids Champions,“, which highlighted some of the problems facing youth sports in the United States. Soon after, he began working with the Aspen Institute to address some of the problems he saw in youth sports and athlete development.

“The landscape of youth sports has both improved and worsened since 2008,” he says. “I think there’s a better understanding now of what ‘good’ looks like in a youth sports experience. We have more appreciation and understanding that kids should try a variety of sports and not specialize in one until their teens, and I think there’s a greater variety of sports opportunities today than there were 20 years ago. And we’re more aware now of some of the gaps in the landscape in terms of access to sports.”

Some things haven’t improved, however. “The youth sports industrial complex has grown since then,” Farrey adds. “Today, there is more emphasis on viewing youth sports as a tool for ‘sports tourism,’ so more travel teams have been created for young age groups to bring competition to different locations. Youth sports should be about the social and physical benefits, rather than this comprehensive, year-round competition schedule that travel teams provide.”

“The challenge is that in the United States, we haven’t really set up our youth sports system in a way that allows every kid who wants to play sports to have the opportunity to do so.”

Parents also face a lot of pressure to do “the right thing” for their young athletes without having a clear understanding of what is actually healthy for their children’s development.

Here are some tips from Farrey to help ensure your athlete is the happiest and healthiest version of themselves in sport:

1. Ask your child about their sporting wishes

   “In general, you should start by talking to your child about what sport they want to do, why they want to do it, what success looks like to them, and what they hope to get out of the experience,” says Farrey. The answer will often surprise you.

2. Put your sporting interests aside

   “Often parents will sign their children up for whatever sport they find interesting or have played themselves,” says Farrey. “They don’t really talk to the child to find out what they’re interested in. In that conversation with your child, you’ll get to know what makes them tick and you’ll be more likely to design an experience that meets their needs.”

   For example, some children do well in team sports like soccer or basketball, while others prefer individual sports like swimming or gymnastics. There is no wrong answer: respond to your child’s interests and accept that they may change over time. Remember that the discovery phase is important for healthy development and long-term interest in sports.

3. Examine your own motives

   “What parents want to get out of youth sports is less important than what the child wants to achieve through it, but it is important to understand and question your own goals,” says Farrey. He recommends asking yourself questions like, “As a parent, what do I hope my child will get out of sports? Is it something tangible like a scholarship? Is it a certain level of success that I have achieved or not achieved?” Ideally, he says, your goal for your child should be based on the acquisition of life skills, such as building resilience and exercising leadership skills through your athlete.

   “Most parents simply want the sport to shape their child’s character and healthy habits that they can carry into adulthood,” he says. “But all too often parents don’t take the time to think about it, and they don’t realize what they want to offer their child, and they end up just taking what is presented to them. This can inadvertently lead to external pressures on your athlete.”

4. Contact your local sports organization for more information

   Ask program directors if coaches are trained in key skills for working with youth. This step is especially important if your athlete is leaving the school sports system to play on club teams or to pursue a sport such as gymnastics, dance or swimming that is not offered in the school district, which more often has minimum standards. “Parents need to understand how unregulated some of these programs can be,” Farrey says.

   “It’s important to ask your local sports organization a series of questions to ensure your athlete’s safety and to make sure your athlete is getting the experience they’re looking for. For example, ask if the coaches are trained and certified in basic health and safety issues and current concussion protocols, if they’ve completed Safe Sport training, and if their background has been checked. There are often not many regulations or rules for coaches, which unfortunately means that much of the onus of care falls on the parents. You owe it to your young athlete to be a good advocate for their safety.”

5. Do not advocate negative aspects

   While you need to make sure your youth athlete is training and competing in a safe program that has their best interests in mind, that doesn’t mean you should yell at the coach or referee during a competition, Farrey says. “We need advocacy from the beginning, like making sure youth coaches are qualified and know what they’re doing before you join a team. We don’t need parents screaming in the stands and questioning every decision a coach makes.”

6. Let children experience gaming experiences

   “One of the most important components of youth sports is the concept of play,” says Farrey. “Children are born to play. Play develops all kinds of skills: it teaches trial and error, resilience, problem solving, creativity and teamwork. Play is important for everyone to lead a healthy, productive life and become a useful citizen of our society.”

   And sports are a natural place for children and young adults to experience play. “Play manifests itself in sports,” says Farrey. “When you see kids doing creative things with a ball, trying crazy shots, struggling in the backyard to learn a new routine or try a new skill, that’s a form of play.”

7. Help your athlete to fall in love with the sport – and not to see it as a job

   “We look at the leading sports systems in the world, those that produce the highest percentage of kids who play sports and those that produce the most Olympians and other elite athletes. We’ve seen that the most successful systems are focused on play and the joy of sport,” says Farrey. “When you fall in love with the sport, you want to keep going and keep playing. That’s how you develop the creativity and the motivation to stick with it because it has captured your imagination. That’s the kind of culture we want to bring to youth sports in the U.S. The focus is on enjoyment, not just winning.”