So I was mindlessly scrolling through Reddit today and saw this story pop up about half a dozen times in various subreddits in a matter of hours. As a blogger for an internet rag that occasionally covers the entertainment space, I felt it was my duty to take a closer look, because it meant that the upcoming film starring Ana de Armas and Sydney Sweeney would break Deadpool & Wolverine’s newly set record for the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time. Or at least break Wild Things’ record for the most rewatched threesome scene of all time.

Instead, I ended up on a British site called “Joe,” which provided me with this analysis of the film.

Ana de Armas has revealed that her new film with Sydney Sweeney is about a “crazy three-way relationship”. The latest film from “Beautiful Mind” director Ron Howard premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival this weekend and the star-studded cast has already caused quite a stir.

Eden not only stars Ana de Armas and Sydney Sweeney, but also Jude Law, Vanessa Kirby and Daniel Brühl. The film is set on the Galápagos Islands in the 1930s and is described as a survival thriller.

In an interview with Vanity Fair, de Armas spoke at length about her role, in which her character “The Baroness” becomes involved in some wild relationships.

“Having this crazy three-way relationship and being a woman of opposites – either she’s sweet and tender and fragile and nervous and scared, or she’s absolutely crazy and dangerous,” the actress continued. “It was kind of about finding that boundary: What was the craziest thing I could become? How far could I go?”

I mean, is nothing sacred anymore? I’m used to aggregators cutting quotes to get clicks when it comes to unimportant things like sports and elections. But to be so underhanded on a story like this is going too far.

A film with a crazy threesome and a film with a crazy threesome relationship are two very different things, especially when the film was directed by that wholesome son of a bitch.

Giphy images.

Plus, we don’t even know who’s involved in this little love triangle with Ana. It could be starlet Sydney Sweeney. It could be the amazing Vanessa Kirby. It could even be the dreamy Jude Law. Or it could be Daniel Brühl, which would probably result in a bunch of perverts demanding a refund of their $20 or so movie ticket (no offense, Daniel. I love you as Baron Zemo!).

Giphy images.

This whole situation offends me not only as a theater lover (pronounced THE-AY-TER), but also as a member of the media who would never even THINK about making headlines to get a few cheap clicks. I would say every social media site should have to abide by an ombudsman who could clear up any clickbait bullshit or at least be held accountable through community notes like on Twitter. But we all know the toothpaste is already out of the tube on this one.

Rather, this blog is intended to make you aware that everything may not be as it seems, even if this quote from Ana was fascinating to say the least…

The actress described one of the scenes in the film as the “scariest thing she has ever done.” In addition to singing and violence, it also features “creative games with food.”

Oh, hell yeah, NOW we’re talking! To be clear, I’m not a song or violence guy. But I’m obviously a food guy, which is why this quote is scratching my head. How does Ana plan to try a creative food game? Are we talking about feeding Sydney Sweeney by pretending the food is an airplane, or are we talking about something bigger, like Cup Noodles that release a s’mores flavor.

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Excuse the shameless advertising for the Snack Boys.

Again, we’ll have to wait until this Eden movie comes out to find out what the forbidden fruit is. Needless to say, the internet will be waiting in hushed tones to find out exactly what happens once the reviews come out.

And if you only clicked on this blog because of the names of the two actresses in the headline, here’s what they’ve been up to lately, according to their Instagram accounts.

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