But the debate didn’t end there. Another user chimed in, asking why she even bothered paying for the wedding considering how she was being treated. “Close the bank and let her create her ‘dream day’ at her own expense,” he suggested.

Others criticized the couple’s sense of entitlement, saying that if they couldn’t afford the wedding they wanted, they should consider splurging on something smaller rather than taking advantage of the family’s generosity: “Your brother and his fiancée sound like they’re taking you for granted. Stand firm.”

Another said: “Just tell them if they want your money, they have to accept some opinions too.”

Money vs. autonomy: who’s in charge?

The Reddit poster’s experience is not an isolated one – and at the heart of the issue is whether financial support should come with strings attached. For some, funding a wedding is a generous gesture, a way to support their loved ones on a special day. But for others, it’s a ticket to having a say in everything from the guest list to the flowers.

Another commenter shared her own experience of losing control of her wedding after accepting financial help from her parents. “It felt like they were planning their dream wedding, not mine,” she lamented.

The feeling of being marginalized echoed in countless other stories.

One bride shared how her parents dictated every detail of her wedding, making her feel like a guest at their own event. “My parents paid for everything and made it a spectacle for their friends,” they wrote. “It felt like I was just there to wear the dress and smile for the photos.”

Sherry Kuehl, an advice columnist at The Kansas City Starsaid this unpleasant situation was not unusual.