Posted in: Games, Lionsgate, Movies | Tagged: Borderlands, Cate Blanchett, Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Hart

The Bleeding Cool Borderlands review asks how something can be so thin it’s translucent and yet still look so incredibly awesome. Welcome to Action Karen.

Last night I visited Tiny Tina’s Funfair with my youngest daughter at the Cineworld Empire IMAX cinema in London’s Leicester Square before a screening of Borderlandthe new movie based on the popular game series hits theaters today. So what do I think about it? Let’s get right into it; it is that kind of movie after all.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film this thin and yet still be so entertained throughout. This film really has nothing going for it. There are no emotional depths, stakes or convoluted plot threads worth talking about. The twists that there are were telegraphed to me 40 clicks in advance and my 16 year old daughter told me everything that was going to happen and she was right. In terms of structure, it makes Dead Pool and wolverine look The Godfather II. Super Mario Bros there was a lot more going on.

Borderland Is uncompromising, stupid and exaggerated

But what Borderland does is something rare. To have an uncompromisingly stupid, over-the-top, uncompromising action film starring a woman in her mid-fifties playing a grizzled, old-school bounty hunter who shoots first, strikes second, and only gets around to asking questions when she remembers what to ask. And uncompromisingly played by Cate Blanchett as if she Bruce Willis – and you believe it completely. Every punch lands, every throw has an effect and every bullet fired hits its target. It is basically Clint Eastwood, and it really works.

Throw in a 65-year-old Jamie Lee Curtis like Tannis and a 62-year-old like Mad Moxxi, and that makes for a radically different-looking cast for this kind of movie, which makes it interesting in and of itself. And it shows that they can be just as stupid, paper-thin and artistically bankrupt as anyone else – and just as funny. If anything, it gives the film a better approach to world-building, assuming that these women have lived lives in this world; they have a shared history that goes back decades, something that is something like valerian could have done something with the cast selection. Borderland is Action Karen, and none of them have to play anyone’s mother or wife. They just are. There is also a strong contrast to Tiny Tina’s sixteen-year-old Ariana Greenblattstraight from Barbiewho remains a cartoon character throughout, cutely throwing toy rabbit explosives, and that’s all the better. She may be the closest we’ll ever get to a real Tank Girl nowadays.

And yes, there are a lot of liberties taken with the game, including the much older Lilith. Characters are deleted and new ones added. And the Vault story is different, but basically borderland, The film is thematically based on the game, with mercenaries of all kinds coming to the apocalyptic wasteland of a planet called Pandora. Once a vacation planet, it now caters only to those who want to try and find the vault left by the ancient alien race of the Eridians, potentially revealing untold riches, weapons, technology, and many clues left by alien spirits along the way. In terms of movies, it shares its structure with a very simplified Ready Player One. Just as the game uses special rendering techniques to mimic the narrative of a comic book, the film uses narration to speed up the exposition and events, getting to the action as quickly as possible, like corner boxes in a panel.

Some familiar and new perspectives on familiar characters

But yes, the game characters Brick and Mordecai are being dropped, as characters from different versions are being dropped together, Lilith, Roland and Claptrap are being joined by Tiny Tina, Krieg and Dr. Tannis. The games’ iconic loot box elements are not being addressed, and Kevin Hart And Jack Black are…Kevin Hart and Jack Black, and both provide some entertainment. Also watch out for the Claptrap POV scenes, narrated by Black while text scrolls around everything. Wall-E Reject scans, Robocop style, for a few easy-to-miss jokes. The film definitely tries to be funny, but Protector of the Galaxywhich has some elements of this film, was much funnier. It also had a decent structure and characters that were at least two-dimensional. Borderland doesn’t really come close. But does it have to?

Video game physics are adhered to as people are thrown around like rag dolls, make impossible turns with their vehicles, and survive point blank shots even while running around topless. The weapons are less imaginative than the game, but serve their purpose. We see some entertaining use of technology through holo masks, and Claptrap, whose motivation is to get his owners killed so he can be released, actually seems to imply that all technology in this world is enslaved. Of course, the theme is not explored any further; it’s not that kind of movie.

The plot jumps from one setting to another. It doesn’t shy away from grossing out the characters and the audience with details – including the exact percentages of urine and feces they get sprayed with. In fact, the character that has the most character in this film is the planet Pandora itself. Oh, and then the film throws the lore up in the air like one of the many corpses the characters plow through, and it all goes Dark Phoenix on us. Why not? This film was anything but. No one really has any character development; the closest you get is Lilith, and while she’s changed in one and every important way, she remains the same as she was in the first role. No learning, no hugging. But impressive nonetheless.

Oh, and yes, there is a little scene with Claptrap at the beginning of the credits that is worth staying a few minutes for, but there is no scene at the end of the credits. The film isn’t that long, so it shouldn’t burst your bubble, but there’s no reason to wait, other than respect for all Hungarian filmmakers.

borderland, leaded by Eli Roth, who wrote the script together with Joe Crombie, with Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Edgar Ramírez, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Gina Gershon, And Jamie Lee Curtis, is released today by Lionsgate in the US and UK.

@thatrichjohnston Heading to the Empire Theatre in Leicester Square, London to watch Borderlands #borderlands ♬ Original sound – Rich Johnston

Borderland

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Check by Rich Johnston

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5/10

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film as thin as Borderlands and yet still been as entertained throughout. This film really has nothing going for it. No emotional depth, no stakes, and no convoluted plot to talk about.

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