It’s been six years since Pauley Perrette left NCIS and four since retiring from acting, and the 55-year-old has now revealed why she will “never” return to the screen.

“I am not ungrateful for the benefits it has brought me,” she said HELLO!

“But I’m a different person now and I want to be there for everything – the good, the bad and the painful.” I want to be myself all the time and it takes a lot of courage to tell myself that, but it’s authentic to how I feel.”

© Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

Pauley began acting “by accident” in the early 1990s, after studying criminology and sociology in college and planning to work for the FBI. She has had guest appearances on shows including Frasier and the Oscar-nominated film Almost famous before he plays along time of your lifea spin-off from Group of five with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jennifer Garner.

In 2003 she joined the then new CBS series NCIS as Abby Sciuto, a forensic scientist at the Naval Criminal Investigative Service headquarters in the Washington Navy Yard.

“There is no drug I have ever taken that has worked as well as acting,” she once said of acting. “What you’re looking for in substance abuse is escape. But with acting you can escape into 1,000 different things without almost killing yourself. Acting is a total drug!”

© CBS

But Pauley, who is now an executive producer Documentaries incl Studio One ForeverR, added HELLO!: “At this point in my life I have a deep need to find authenticity in everything, and being an actor, especially at certain times in my life, was a great escape; It’s like a drug because I didn’t have to be myself, I could be someone else. My character didn’t have all the problems I had.

“That’s why I only watch documentaries, I want the truth. If I became an actor again, I would lose this life of true authenticity that I live 100%.”

© Getty

Three years after Pauley left NCIS, After a series of allegations against co-star Mark Harmon, she took to social media in 2019 to tell fans that she was “NOT COMING BACK!” NEVER!” Too NCIS.

Speaking about her own retirement in 2020, Pauley told fans: “I actually retired after NCIS, but being broke was important and nice. I did my last dance and I’m proud of it! Anyone who knows me knew I would retire right after that. That’s me.” I’m proud of my work! I am free!!! (To be the small, simple person that I am!)