Are these children having fun, are they enthusiastic and motivated about their sport? Maybe not.

Source: Adam Jones/Wikimedia Commons

Enough.

This call is for youth and high school sports coaches who demand far too much time from young athletes, and the complicit parents who mindlessly go along with it. Such time demands can destroy the well-being of children and their families.

In the past, there were no fixed seasons in organized youth sports. Hockey took place in the winter, soccer in the fall, and baseball in the spring/summer.

No longer.

Sports have become a year-round commitment enforced by coaches. Now there is fall football, indoor football in the winter, spring and summer “club” style football, and Christmas morning football.

More, more, more

For obsessed youth coaches, there is never enough practice, scrimmages, games, etc. Many kids end up spending more time on their sport than professional athletes. Does that make sense?

One stressful consequence of never-ending sports seasons is that the schedules of children who want to participate in more than one sport overlap, requiring them to participate in multiple team activities on the same day several times a week. Stress and burnout are common results.

Many young athletes eventually give up their sport(s). Data from the National Survey of Children’s Health shows that youth participation in sports in the United States declined by 7.6% between 2016-17 and 2021-22. Burnout from too much time spent was identified as the main factor.

This consequence could be avoided if the sports associations acted more sensibly and the parents remained consistent and put the well-being of their child first.

A new and treacherous youth sports landscape

The blurring of traditional lines between sports seasons is a new threat to the youth sports landscape, due to new trends that have turned what was once a fun journey into an unpleasant, never-ending drudgery – a “jungle,” as one parent described the new territory.

One factor contributing to this “jungle” is entrepreneurship in youth sports. Some former high school and college athletes are trying to turn youth sports into a corporate career. Many of these people are so obsessed with their sport, their brand, and their financial bottom line that the well-being of the kids is at stake. The end result? Endless training (and exorbitant fees) that turn off kids and their families.

What young athletes have to say

A 14-year-old high school athlete enlightened me about this element of youth sports madness in a conversation shortly after his victory in the high school wrestling championship. It was late winter, and I inquired about his plans to attend baseball. He informed me that he had given up that activity. Here is his explanation:

Sport should be a motivating activity that is fun, and not a never-ending struggle to the top.

Source: Cartoon/CartoonStock

“Travel baseball programs burn the kids out. They practice indoors two or three times a week all fall and winter. By the time the summer season is a few weeks old after school ball, they (the athletes) have had enough and are just doing their routine. They’re worn out.”

“Wait,” I replied, “you’re one of the hardest working athletes I know. You train almost every day in the off-season for wrestling, which is much harder than baseball. How come you don’t burn out from that, but you do in traveling baseball?”

His answer:

“I am THE DECISION to wrestle every day. A lot of “travel” baseball kids go to off-season training because coaches and/or their parents force them to. A lot of these kids are just going through the motions. I go to off-season training (wrestling) because I want to.”

His choice, not Coaches or parents.

Lesson learned. Let the kids decide what they will do in the offseason, don’t let coaches and complicit parents force them to do it.

Here are further explanations from a 16-year-old athlete.

“Ever since I started playing soccer, it was a great sport, but when I started doing interstate soccer travel programs, it became stressful because the practices became more frequent and longer. I played soccer five times a week and had tournaments almost every weekend. The coaches put pressure on us in all kinds of ways.”

“I hated it. It was too much.”

“I never got to spend time with my family. I was walking to practice to play a sport that I was burned out on. It really affected my mental health. It made school harder for me. I was SO stressed. I hated sports so much because I had to do it.”

“When COVID hit in seventh and eighth grade and I took a break from football after five practices a week since third grade, I realized how burned out I was. I started playing in high school and knew very soon that I didn’t see a happy future in it.”

“When I stopped, it was like freedom. I really like football, but it wasn’t fun anymore.”

Then a switch flipped in him.

“I started playing tennis in high school. The coaches stuck to the season. There was an extra month of OPTIONAL practice before the season started. Once the season started, I wasn’t as stressed and burned out (like I was in soccer).”

He now trains tennis diligently – independently – driven by be Passion, not the compulsive pressure of a coach. As he put it:

“I am decide what to do. I’m the one in charge. There was so much less pressure (than travel soccer) and it was so much more fun and entertaining. I was able to actually look at the sport as something I do for myself, something I do to get exercise and something I do to have fun with my peers. Not like soccer where there was so much coercion and pressure. I train all the time now.”

“It makes me feel so much better and makes me want to pursue it further. I want to take tennis lessons when tennis season isn’t running so I can maintain and improve my skills. Because it’s optional, it makes me excited.”

Untangling the “jungle” of youth sports

Trust the wisdom of the 14-year-old high school wrestling champion and the 16-year-old tennis enthusiast.

Empower your kids by giving them the opportunity to decide and say what they want during the offseason. Forcing or forcing them to meet absurd practice and training requirements kills their enthusiasm and self-motivation.

Coaches need to limit their coercive training. Let kids do what they want in the offseason. Stop using underhanded manipulation to force kids to participate in supposedly “optional” offseason workouts.

Parents can help by listening to their young athletes to understand what they want to do. Mom and Dad can intervene to prevent coaches from taking over their child and family. This way, sports stay in perspective and kids can play other sports, participate in extra-sport activities, focus on school, and spend quality time with their friends and family.

Finally, it is critical for families to carefully consider and select a youth sports program that prioritizes the well-being of their young athlete, not the brand, reputation or money of the program.

Buyer beware!

Making sensible parental choices keeps family priorities in order. What is more important – family, school, friends, spiritual connection or sports? No parent has ever answered “sports” when I asked, even though family vacations, dinners, study time, social life and religious activities are organized around sports planning throughout the year.

Re-establish your priorities and remember that sport should be a consciously chosen, enjoyable passion, not a forced, stressful obsession.