Tim*, 43, was stunned when his girlfriend Sandra*, 45, with whom he had been together for three years and who was also his boss, left him the week before her business trip.

“Never date your coworker.” This advice is often given, but I ignored it and learned my lesson the hard way.

Sandra and I were together for three wonderful years. We met online during the pandemic. I had just been hired at the company she worked for and Sandra helped me ease into the role and turned what could have been a scary experience into an exciting one.

She had been with the company for a little over a year and knew what it was like to be the “new girl” in the office. We both bonded over our work in media and being single parents of stubborn teenagers. I looked forward to our daily Zoom meetings and couldn’t wait to meet her in person.

Sandra was stuck in Hong Kong when we first met over Zoom, and when we finally met in person six months later, I was instantly smitten. She had a brilliant mind, was incredibly curious about the world, and was quick to learn. I had a huge crush on her before, but she was even more beautiful in real life.

Become my boss

I asked her out a week after we met in person and soon we were inseparable. Everyone in the office knew we were dating, but we did our best to keep it as professional as possible.

Working together during the relationship was a challenge in itself, but it was 100% worth it. We respected and valued each other’s opinions and knew how important communication was in our relationship.

Honestly, it was bittersweet for me when Sandra was promoted to my boss. I was so proud of her and happy for her accomplishments, but when we started dating, we were on equal footing. I was nervous about how things would change, both in our romantic and work relationships. Would our coworkers think I was getting special treatment? And how would customers react if they found out I was dating the boss?

Cracks appear

At first, everything was fine. Although we often had different editorial opinions, we did our best to remain professional. We spent most of our time working together in the office and always had lunch together, but established a strict rule that work discussions outside office hours were taboo.

But over time it became more and more difficult. We are both passionate people when it comes to work and at some point it felt like we had to walk on eggshells to make each other happy.

Things got even worse the week before one of our quarterly meetings. We had completely different views, not only on the scope of our work, but also on how we should approach it. We got into a real argument in front of the whole company, even calling each other incompetent.

Our colleagues looked horrified. None of our colleagues said anything to our faces, but we knew they were talking about the incident. It was humiliating. None of us should have acted like that.

Sandra broke up with me that night. She said she was embarrassed by our unprofessional behavior and I completely agreed with her. We should never have talked to each other like that, but I was still shocked that she wanted to end our relationship because of one argument.

In hindsight, it may have been long overdue—we’d been arguing more than usual—but I’d at least expected a proper conversation about it. I was angry that we’d let work get in the way of a good relationship, and it broke my heart that it was too late to fix the problem.

We tried our best to remain polite at work and carry on as if nothing had happened between us. But with a business trip coming up, the fact that we had broken up came out pretty quickly, which only made things more awkward. We had always shared a hotel room and this time we had to ask for a second room.

As soon as Sandra made the request, word quickly spread that we had split up, and it seemed as though all of our colleagues were talking about the split behind our backs. We were rarely invited on the same outings, and when we were, we sat as far away from each other as possible.

Let’s continue

It’s been eight months since Sandra and I split up, and I’m finally excited to go back to the office. After our split, I avoided it as much as possible – I hated seeing her every day and pretending I didn’t miss her. But a month after we returned from our business trip, we talked and we both decided together that our split was the best decision we could have made.

We both love our work and it wasn’t fair for either of us to let work interfere with our relationship, or vice versa. I knew that until we learned to separate the two, our relationship would never work.

I’ve since started dating again. A few friends have set me up on blind dates and I’ve even signed up for a few dating apps, which is a new experience for me. I haven’t met anyone serious yet, but this time I know I won’t be getting involved in an office romance again.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Read more: All Yahoo UK How I was dumped stories.