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My 9-year-old just explained to me why Netflix’s third biggest movie makes no sense at all
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My 9-year-old just explained to me why Netflix’s third biggest movie makes no sense at all

When you become a parent, your world changes and you learn to tap into feelings you never knew existed: immense love, persistent worry, near-constant frustration. And of course, the deep joy mixed with awkward nostalgia (and a little sexual excitement—more on that in a minute) that you experience when you have one of the three Trolls Movies.

To refresh your memory: Trolls was released in 2016 as a silver platter for millennials to watch with their kids. It brought to life the troll dolls of our childhood, now singing sped-up medley versions of our favorite early 2000s hits, and played by Anna Kendrick and, oh yeah, Justin Timberlake. (Is it weird to be attracted to a troll? It’s weird to be attracted to a troll.) The animation was creative and structured, and the plot…had something to do with bumbling “Bergens” eating trolls and everyone learning to live in harmony.

Michael Tran/Getty Images

Fast forward to 2020, when we were spoiled with Trolls: World Tour (a title that, by the way, prompted me to hire a speech therapist for my child who could not pronounce the letter “R”). This was Also about harmony, albeit in the context of learning to coexist with one another. It is undoubtedly the weakest of the bunch, not least because we are forced to listen to a frenetic mashup of George Clinton, Sam Rockwell and Icona Pop.

And finally, last year we Trolls join forcesa boy band reunion for a good cause that not only brought stars like Andrew Rannells and Amy Schumer into the mix, but also Timberlake’s former NSYNC bandmates for a brand new No conditions Kaliber song. (It’s called “Better Place” and if you haven’t heard it, please stop reading and do so immediately.)

I saw the film with my kids in the theater when it came out over Thanksgiving, and they’ve seen it several times since its debut on Netflix in July – and it’s quickly become the third most streamed film on the platform. With each viewing, I find the mood enchanting, the music catchy, and the plot forgettable. But it wasn’t until recently that my 9-year-old pointed out to me that, in addition to forgetfulness, there is also a great Trolls 3 Plot hole.

Listen to me: In Trolls 1we learn that Branch (Timberlake) is so grumpy because he was traumatized by the death of his grandmother, Grandma Rosiepuff, at age five (via Bergen-Eat). In fact, he was so distraught that he vowed never to sing again.

And yet Trolls join forceswe learn that he was actually singing again! As my son noted, after Branch’s first band Bro-Zone broke up, he joined a second band called Kismet, this time featuring the aforementioned singers from NSYNC. The timing of Bro-Zone makes sense: Branch, who sang under the moniker “Bitty B,” was apparently a baby at the time, before he experienced his grandmother’s death at age five. But things get more puzzling when you consider Kismet, a band he was apparently in when he was older than a kindergartener. Did he join this band between the events of ? Trolls And Trolls World Tour? Did he leave Bro-Zone when he was still in diapers, join a second boy band (this time as a heartthrob) and then give up singing? Did he actually sing a little between Granny’s death and meeting Poppy?

Daniel Leal/Getty Images

As with most things in the Trolls Universe, it’s best if you don’t think too much about it and instead endure the blurry scenery and inoffensive pop. I’m not here to make these movies make sense. I’m here because they’re better than Kung Fu Panda 4.

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