We’re in the middle of fantasy football draft season. Most participants are just pretending.

If you invest $50 or $100 or whatever ridiculous amount, there’s no real risk. That’s fine, but don’t act like you’re Howie Roseman. Don’t bore people with stories of brilliant squad management: “I’ve got Aiyuk! The Khan Artist doesn’t! HAW, HAW, HAW, HAW!”

If you’re from Pittsburgh, there’s only one true test of fantasy football excellence.

It’s a league that used to be based in a now-defunct restaurant on the South Side. That restaurant was a gambling mecca and was on the NFL’s “Do Not Enter” list.

The restaurant no longer exists. The fantasy football league remains.

The last I heard there were up to 60 teams: five divisions of 12 teams each, with each division having a separate draft.

The prize: $6,600 per person. That makes a total prize pool of almost $400,000.

Minus what the client takes, of course. As Al Swearengen of HBO’s Deadwood said, “I wouldn’t trust a man who didn’t try to steal a little.”

There is not just one winner. There are weekly payouts and at every level of the playoffs, etc.

I’m not sure because I’ve never participated before. I wouldn’t risk that much money on something I’m not good at.

Also, even if this league is running like clockwork and is on the pitch, I don’t trust anyone in it. It doesn’t make sense, but it does.

My friend Rino has a team in every division. It’s crazy. Five teams at $6,600 each. That’s $33,000. He usually manages just fine with that.

Many participants in the league also make crazy side bets: who will win in a head-to-head comparison, who will finish higher in the table and things like that. Side bets involve at least another six-figure sum.

The draft is an experience. I enjoy watching it. People put a lot of thought into each selection, and they should.

The participants in the first of the five designs have the disadvantage that they actually have to think.

Drafts are held every night. Until the fifth night, this draft follows the pattern of the previous four nights.

The most efficient drafts are done by people like Rino, who acts as a lone wolf. He has no partners except those who remain silent. (I took a percentage once. Like I said, Rino usually does it pretty well. He knows his stuff, as the guys say.)

The worst drafts are conducted by conglomerates with multiple investors: say, six partners with $1,100 each. They argue loudly about every pick, often using all the time allotted to them, and then still take the wrong guy. (When I’m at a draft and sitting near one of these groups, I often try to fuel their arguments by occasionally throwing in speculation about an injury that doesn’t exist. “He’s the radio guy, he should know!”)

It’s a lot of fun, but it’s not just fun: there’s real money at stake.

I realize that fantasy leagues in other cities can cost a lot more, especially when celebrities are involved. But this is Pittsburgh. I’m a celebrity here.

The point is: keep your mouth shut if your fantasy league charges a ridiculously low entry fee.

Actually, if you’re in a fantasy league, keep your mouth shut about it.

The folks behind the fantasy league we’re discussing today also offer block pools for the Super Bowl and the NCAA Men’s Basketball Finals that cost $1,000 per block, and they also host a men’s NCAA Tournament auction that brings in an insane amount of money.

If arrests are made as a result of this article, I would like a reward. Or at least free entry.