I am 28 years old and my girlfriend is a year younger. We have been together for three years, our families have met, and we plan to get married in June next year. We agreed to cover the costs ourselves, with no financial support from our families, partly because my girlfriend mentioned her family’s financial difficulties and said she did not want to burden her parents.

Nevertheless, her family had planned a big wedding, with twice as many guests as my family. My friend also mentioned that the wedding might result in losses, as her relatives and friends might not give us too many monetary gifts.

Recently, she said I had to pay an additional 30 million VND to cover the cost of another dinner party the night before the wedding that her parents were hosting for relatives from her area, as well as their accommodation.

I disagreed and said I would only pay for the reasonable wedding expenses such as the ancestral ceremony, photography, wedding dress, gold gifts and reasonable number of guests. Any additional expenses her family wants should be borne by her or her family.

My friend then said she only had 20 million VND and insisted that I cover all other wedding expenses, arguing that if I really loved her, I would not hesitate to spend money on her. However, I believe that a wedding should be a celebration and not an extravagance that leads to debt. I think my friend’s family is too conceited while at the same time struggling with financial problems.

Are my thoughts justified? What should I do in this situation?