Here in southwest Cook County, the same county that just hosted a fantastic DNC convention, these views (and my physical reaction to them) compelled me to write about my recent experiences.

All three were driven by men between the ages of 40 and 60, they (the cars, not the drivers) were all different colors, and none showed any visible corrosion or dents. (Again, the trucks, not the drivers.) So far.

My reactions became more intense with each new viewing. In summary:

a) Elon Musk has no taste, no sense of beauty, no sense of art, no sense of style. Given his professed love for Duh FurHair, Elon has no sense either.

b) These things are hideously ugly. They are so hideously ugly that unlike other really ugly things, they don’t even become ugly collector’s items.

c) Their growing list of problems includes quality control, broken wipers, manufacturing issues, corrosion (yes, even stainless steel oxidizes, especially when two different metals are left in contact with each other – as any steel artist will tell you), missing spare parts, horrendous repair and maintenance bills, and their limited range, so much so that they almost chase drivers so I could offer them a bridge over Lake Michigan to buy. Or an oceanfront condo in Southeast Florida. The drivers must be stupid enough to spend $150,000-$180,000 on a basically useless wannabe “pick-me-up” truck. Oh, apparently they have serious problems when the weather strikes. Towing them requires special, expensive towing equipment to keep them from becoming a rust-free hulk.

d) Did I mention how ugly they are?

e) Speaking of bricks, they still have a tendency to give up the ghost, even with very low mileage. I’ve heard several stories (admittedly, I’m looking for them) where new owners turn them in after a few days and demand a full refund due to the number of complaints.

f) Resale value is declining faster than Truth Social stock.

g) Did I mention how ugly they are?

h) Tesla’s Otto Pilot makes the movie pilot proud in a crazy airplane. And he kills people. According to an official count, Tesla’s programming has so far caused 14 deaths and thousands of collisions (per NHTSA data), in fool-self-driving mode. If a prescription drug had such success rates, it would be recalled and banned.

i) Did I mention how really, really ugly they are? The one I saw tonight was painted a particularly ugly baby poop brown (PAINT on stainless steel? Seriously?). Maybe they were trying to go camouflage and hide in a sewage treatment center. Embarrassment can do that.