Given the influence technology has on our daily lives these days, I can’t possibly be the only one who has a hard time detaching myself from my phone as much as I’d like. As a stay-at-home mom and mom to a toddler and preschooler (in other words, someone who constantly has a million and two tabs open in my head), I’m not always proud of the screen time I spend on my iPhone. The truth I need to say loud and clear, though? I don’t just scroll through social media.

Whether you’re a stranger who’s walked by me in public and judged me while I scrolled through my phone with my kids attached to my hip, or you’re a familiar face who notices every time I’m seemingly distracted, hear me out. Yes, I’m constantly on my phone. But it’s not what you think. Here’s what I am Strictly speaking do.

As mothers, our to-do lists never end

There is something to be said about the mental load we mothers carry for our families. In fact, I really think we could (and probably should) have an entire conversation about this topic. As matriarchs of our clans, our to-do lists never end. We are constantly thinking, planning, organizing, arranging, researching… in short, we do it all. All day, every day. And our phones happen to be an excellent tool for managing the daily mental load of motherhood. So what Am What do I do if I feel like I’m constantly scrolling on my page, you ask?

I research everything

Someone has to make informed decisions for my children, and it will not be my children themselves. At least not when they are young and completely dependent on me to raise them to be healthy, educated and happy people. Therefore, I am constantly researching everything kid-related. I research the best shoe brands for beginning walkers, the most natural, dye-free pain relievers for teething toddlers, and the most sought-after preschool programs for my oldest daughter. I compare gyms and soccer programs, pediatric gastroenterologists and dentists, and the best family-friendly vacation destinations. I even research the least stimulating TV shows. Since we admit we’re victims of screen time anyway, yes…my kids have to go through it daily, too.

I plan everyone’s appointments, classes and activities (ironically my own)

No matter how easily I fall behind on my own appointments, when it comes to raising babies, I can’t fall behind on things like this. I use my phone constantly to schedule, reschedule, and confirm appointments for my kids. Between well-being checkups and routine checkups, annual blood work, specialist visits, and everything in between, keeping up with my kids’ medical appointments requires a lot of attention to detail. In this case, I have to focus on my phone—almost all health portals, appointment reminders, and results are accessible via a mobile app. The same goes for scheduling ballet classes and music lessons for mom and me. It’s all online; so everything happens through my phone.

I organize play dates and socialization opportunities

As a stay-at-home mom, I am under a lot of pressure to make sure my son and daughter have plenty of opportunities to socialize with other little ones. Play dates are an important part of that. But they don’t just happen without a lot of planning and coordination. I’m constantly texting back and forth with mom friends, arranging meet-ups at the playground and in the backyard, signing up for weekly story times at our local library, and agreeing to birthday parties (not to mention planning birthday parties). If I don’t make it a goal to maintain social contacts myself, my children won’t be able to do so either. Aren’t phones designed for exactly that?!

I create shopping lists (and submit pickup orders to Target)

Food (and clothes and craft supplies and countless other things) disappear with children. I will never understand how my family goes through so many boxes of applesauce bags in a single week. But I Do I know it’s not going to be a good week if we forget to stock up. That’s one of the many reasons why writing endless grocery lists seems to have become a pastime for me. While I’ll probably always prefer good old pen and paper, most of the time the note function on my phone is much more convenient. So, yes, I scroll… but it’s all to provide for happy, well-fed little people.

I keep my extended family updated about my children’s lives

My kids are lucky to have a lot of love in their lives. However, we are unlucky in that much of that love comes from afar. We may not see their grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, cousins, and friends who live out of town as often as we would like. However, I can keep my loved ones updated through social media. Long phone conversations with the people who care most about my kids just aren’t possible these days. But you can bet I take advantage of group chats and quick and easy photo sharing!

I’m just trying to survive

No matter what I’m doing on my phone at any given moment of the day, one thing remains constant: I’m just trying to survive. I check off tasks for my kids and family, only to get to a dozen more. And then what? I admit that I do mindless scrolling on occasion. I’m a mom, not a superhuman. Sometimes I need a break from the endless expectations of everyday life, too.

I have no idea how much time I spend on my phone every day, but I do know this: I’m not just mindlessly hanging out on social media, and I’m certainly not sitting around being lazy. Rather, as a mom, I’m constantly working through the many tasks I have to do for everyone else around me. So the next time you see me—or any other mom—glued to that trusty smartphone, I encourage you to rethink your thoughts. Because I promise you one thing: We do a lot more than just scroll.