A wedding is a major turning point in a person’s life. To make it extra special and ensure that everything goes smoothly, most couples plan it well in advance. But some things can be a big problem for many people, even if they’ve been waiting for the big day for a long time. A 27-year-old woman, u/SuperbTarget9054, found herself in a similar situation when her fiancé’s family went behind her back and invited someone she didn’t want to her wedding. She asked people on Reddit if their reaction was appropriate.

“I have been engaged to my fiancé Alex for a year and was planning our wedding for the end of the summer. Everything was going smoothly until Alex’s family dropped a bombshell a few weeks ago,” the woman wrote in her post. Since the fiancé’s family was very close, they were involved in the wedding planning. “I recently found out that they invited Alex’s ex Sarah to the wedding. Alex and Sarah were together for about five years and split up about two years ago,” the bride-to-be revealed. The man was on good terms with his ex, but the idea of ​​her fiancé’s ex being at the wedding made her uncomfortable.

“When I confronted Alex about it, he said it was a family tradition to invite former partners if they were still friends and it would be rude to exclude her,” the woman revealed. “I tried to explain to him that I was uncomfortable having Sarah at our wedding and that it undermined the importance of the event for me.” Alex found her unreasonable and selfish for not considering his family’s feelings. “He argued that it would cause unnecessary drama if we uninvited Sarah now and we should just focus on enjoying the day,” she continued. “I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t just about inviting an ex, but also about my place in Alex’s life and whether I was really a priority.”

The woman ultimately decided she couldn’t go ahead with the wedding. “I canceled the venue and all of our plans and explained to Alex and his family that I couldn’t commit to marrying someone who didn’t respect my feelings on such an important matter,” she recounted. “Now Alex and his family are angry with me. They think I’m overreacting and should have been more forthcoming.” The woman’s family was divided. Some believed she did the right thing, while others thought she acted too impulsively. People supported the woman in the comments.

u/Comprehensive_value wrote, “Why is his family sending invites? And how would they have felt if you invited one of your ex-girlfriends as a ‘family tradition’?” u/BadgeringforHoney commented, “It’s not tradition for anyone to do this. The family wanted her there… or he wanted her there for some reason. She’s better off getting out of this mess.” u/sammac66 noted, “She’s probably single right now and that’s why they want her there. They’ll probably find out that mom and dad prefer the ex over the new fiancé and hope to cause enough drama to break them up. So far, so good. But that’s the fiancé’s fault because if he had sided with his fiancée instead of his parents and ex-girlfriend, maybe things would be different.”