Navigating family dynamics during a wedding can be challenging, especially when not everyone wants to participate.

A bride-to-be has received widespread support on Reddit as she decides whether to ask her future mother-in-law to change her outfit or skip the wedding altogether. The post, written by /u/Ldrizz15, has gone viral since it was published on August 7, garnering 7,700 upvotes.

The author wrote about her frustration because her future mother-in-law had chosen a white dress for her upcoming wedding – a violation of a previously discussed boundary.

“We discussed several times what kind of outfit she would end up wearing and in particular that I would not be OK with guests wearing white or ivory as in my eyes that is something that should be reserved for the bride,” the person wrote on the poster page.

The author of the message had tried to involve her future mother-in-law in the wedding preparations by offering to go outfit shopping with her. However, the woman declined the offer and went with a friend instead. Despite this, the woman involved her future daughter-in-law in the process by sending her photos of several possible outfits. Then it all went wrong.

“Last night I checked to see if she was successful and then she sent me a photo of the outfit she had bought and asked what I thought of it,” the bride wrote. “It wasn’t one of the photos she had already sent and the dress is white.”

The poster wrote that the store where her future mother-in-law purchased the dress was “not cheap” and did not offer refunds or returns.

Unsure how to handle the situation without being labeled a “bridezilla,” the writer of the message reached out to her fiancé, who also felt the dress was inappropriate. Although he spoke to his mother about the dress, the writer said they did not discuss the issue directly.

Newsweek /u/Ldrizz15 asked for comment on Reddit.

Reddit users were quick to rally behind the bride, with many telling the original poster that the responsibility to handle the situation fell on her fiancé.

“All his fiancée has to do is ask to see the dress and he’ll tell her it’s inappropriate to wear white,” one person wrote. “His mother is his problem. He can be a big boy and take care of it for you.”

Another commenter agreed, “She chose this dress on purpose. She knows it will upset OP because it’s white and she was told ‘No white or ivory.’ Give her a chance to buy an appropriate dress that has to be approved by her son and OP. Rescind the invitation if she declines, but her son has to tell her. If she shows up to the ceremony in a white dress, she will be evicted from the premises.”

Face the problem directly

Bryn Khoury, founder of the wedding platform Our Day, said Newsweek about the intersecting relationships in the game and what they think the Reddit user should do.

Aware of the often difficult dynamic between brides and their future mothers-in-law, Khoury said the decision to wear white could be an unconscious protest against the mother’s changing role in her son’s life.

“You shouldn’t give in and let them wear white,” Khoury advised the bride, echoing comments on her post. “Although wearing white is less rooted in purity in today’s culture, it is still a strongly held marriage tradition and guests should always avoid white unless the couple specifies otherwise. The wedding dress is one of the most anticipated parts of the day for many brides and following this tradition is a celebration of that!”

To prevent the mother-in-law from blaming the bride alone, Khoury recommended that the couple address the issue together: “This shows that you are willing to tell her your opinion yourself, and she will not feel like conversations are taking place behind her back.”

“This is just the beginning of your journey as her daughter-in-law, so hopefully this will ease any tensions as the big day approaches.”

The overwhelming majority of Reddit users and Khoury agree: There’s nothing wrong with the bride expressing her point of view. Discussing the issue directly with her fiancé seems to be the right way to go, with the purpose of the day – the love between her and her fiancé – at the center.