In some ways, it seems like open bars have become the norm at weddings—but there are plenty of couples who choose to forgo (or limit) alcohol on the big day. There are several reasons for this—ranging from financial to personal—and guests usually put up with it, whether there’s a cash-only bar or no bar at all. However, one Reddit participant wasn’t thrilled when she arrived at her college friend’s celebration to find that the alcohol was completely dry because the groom was sober. In short, she left the wedding early along with other members of her circle of friends to go to a few bars. A few weeks after the party, she took to Reddit’s “Am I the A______” thread after being confronted by the bride, who accused her of being unsupportive and punishing her husband for his abstinence.

According to the guests, she and her husband were excited to celebrate with their friend; they left the kids at home and rented a hotel with another couple she knew from school. “My husband and I don’t have much time to ourselves without the kids, so we were excited to let loose,” she wrote. She went on to explain that she hadn’t realized the reception they were attending was alcohol-free. “The invitation said the wedding went until 11 a.m. and there was an after-party with the bride and groom at the venue,” she explained. “The venue was a beautiful mansion and the bride and groom had it for the night. They left for their honeymoon the next morning.”

Given the couple’s decision to stay overnight at the venue and the timing of the after-party, guests assumed some level of alcohol would be involved. “Cut to the wedding day and it’s a dry wedding. Apparently the groom has been sober for two years. No one told us this and we were admittedly disappointed,” she wrote. This made her and her husband reconsider attending the after-party, but they ultimately left before the reception was over. “We told people we were going to go to a couple bars afterward and not to the after-party,” she said. “We left the wedding at 9:30 p.m. because we were dying to go out and the wedding was boring.”

They weren’t the only ones to leave early – which ultimately hurt the bride’s feelings. “Pretty much the entire college crew left the party around this time and went out. Apparently the bride’s group of friends didn’t stay for the party, but the groom’s did, and the mood at the party was very uneven,” she wrote. “We all heard about it from the bride and she called us assholes for leaving. She said she felt unsupported and felt like we were (teasing) her now husband for his abstinence. I told her she was reading too much into it. We just wanted to go out.” The bride is particularly angry with the original author, whom she sees as the “ringleader” of the early departure. The guest, on the other hand, was of the opinion that she had done nothing wrong.

After giving Reddit the floor, however, she was quickly met with criticism. The biggest takeaway—and the reason she received an official badge indicating she was in the wrong—was that she did encouraging others to skip the afterparty after suggesting another plan. “I think couples should announce it (dry weddings) in advance so people can plan for it since alcohol is the norm at weddings,” one user wrote in a comment that has since been upvoted 28,000 times. “But you’re an asshole for saying, ‘We told people we were going to a couple bars afterward and not to the afterparty.’ We left the wedding at 9:30.’ You talked shit at HER WEDDING and then formed a whole group to leave her party early. That’s a bad boyfriend. Skipping her dry after-party to go out afterward would be totally fine, even expected, but leaving the wedding early and bringing a group with you?”

The commenter also encouraged the guest to put themselves in the bride’s perspective. “She’s trying to support her current husband and she’ll do that throughout the entire marriage and you couldn’t even care for your boyfriend for an extra hour and a half? Life isn’t just about doing what you want to do,” he wrote. “Sometimes we have to sit through long ceremonies for our siblings. Sometimes we have to go to boring art shows for our friends. Sometimes we have to attend boring parties to celebrate the people we love. Get over it!”