Everyone has moments like that, like a fork in the road. Mine was a phone call to my mom on the first day of my first job out of college, when I started working at the Guinness Storehouse.
I was very unhappy for a while before this happened. My parents had split up a few years before, an amicable split, but I had a lot of feelings about it that I had repressed. Music had distracted me from my feelings as a teenager.
I won a Meteor Award for my music. I thought everything was going to work out – music was going to be my career. I had a manager, but there wasn’t much structure around it. And it kind of fizzled out.
One year I was sitting next to Bono and Westlife at the 2003 Meteor Awards – the next it seemed I had no prospects in the music industry. I had released two top 10 singles and done Childline concerts at the 3Arena in one year and now I was neither performing nor directing.
As a 20-year-old, I was disorientated. Emotionally, coming down from such a high was a huge setback that I had to deal with first. I was angry, frustrated – there were moments when I burst into tears.
When I saw other bands having success – Westlife this, Samantha Mumba that, I knew them as a teenager – I couldn’t understand: why them and not me? As a young adult at the time, I didn’t understand all the parameters of the music industry.
The year after this real high point – I had been supporting big artists from the USA and thought I no longer had any musical prospects – I had to change course.
And then there was the emotional shock of my parents splitting up. I thought I had internalized that. I blamed one parent more than the other – at that age you don’t understand that relationships have many layers. I just couldn’t handle it.
My friend told me to go to counseling. I thought: what? Some old person talking to me about my situation? I went. The first session was a complete emotional outburst. It cleaned me up a little. I went for two months.
I was suggested to get a job. For me, that meant my musical career was over before it had even begun. Music was all I wanted to do. It takes a lot to change your mindset at an age when you think you know everything.
Two of my uncles worked at Guinness. I thought maybe I could do something there. Something in the back room, no tours – my confidence was shaken. They were looking for salesmen to help move stuff around the yard and restock. I got a job, a couple of mornings a week.
The first day I went in very shyly, feeling dizzy and praying that no one would recognise me. I had appeared on The Lyrics Board with Red Hurley on TV – it was a popular show, the repeats were shown on RTÉ. A lorry driver looked at me for a while and said, ‘Were you on The Lyrics Board last night?’ I said, ‘Yes.’
About 20 years ago there were only a handful of mixed race people in the entertainment industry – you stood out more. There was no social media – people consumed media from traditional sources. If you had been at The Den a year earlier, if you had played at a concert with Girls Aloud, it would have made more of an impression – people would remember it.
After he said that, I kept my head down and tried to carry on. At lunchtime, I finally burst into tears. I called my mom. Standing among the kegs in the back of the brewery, in my overalls, miles away from sitting next to Bono, I said to my mom, “I don’t think I can do this. This isn’t for me… a guy recognized me… I was embarrassed.”
Mom just listened. She said, “Son, give me a week.” That was enough time for me to get through that day and start again the next day. I knew the right thing to do was turn around. Moms know the right words.
As the weeks went by, I became more confident. I healed and developed character. I didn’t try to be someone else, I just grew as myself. Managers noticed that I was a sociable person and a high performer. They said I would be better off in a higher position. Within a year or two, I was promoted – that’s when I blossomed.
It was at the Guinness Storehouse that I met my manager. She was my manager for six years as I climbed the corporate ladder. They sent me on management courses and took me to marketing meetings. Eventually I became a service manager.
I was able to manage my emotions and my personal relationships better. I was able to articulate emotions. When I was in a bad mood, I knew not to bring it up. I had more self-confidence.
My mother is from Trinidad. She is a strong woman. Mam was always for “getting it done”… without lecturing – she just said enough and people listened.
That call is very important in my life. The decision to continue in that job… I still use what I learned there. If I hadn’t gone back there that day, I would have missed a big part of my development as a man.
- Luke Thomas and his band The Swing Cats join forces with Una Healy to headline this year’s Cork Jazz Festival at the Everyman Theatre on October 26. Expect all-time swing classics such as “Fly Me to the Moon” and “Beyond the Sea”. Tickets at Ticketmaster.
