So far, in 2024, I have seen most Real Housewives franchises (and their spin-offs), have seen every reality show Netflix has invented (Too hot to touch? Check. Sell ​​sunset? Check) and devoured both The traitors And Love Island. In case you think I’m exaggerating my reality TV addiction, there was a time this summer when, within a few weeks, I saw Rasa Bagdonaviciute yelling at Lauren Christy in front of another agent Buy LondonLisa Rinna smashes a wine glass during an argument with Kim Richards on The Real Housewives of Beverly HillsChrishell Stause told Nicole Young she had “rearranged her entire face” on Sell ​​sunsetand Monica Garcia call Lisa Barlow “old, ugly and a piece of ass” on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Sure, there were moments when I worried about what it was all doing to my brain, but, I thought, aren’t we all stressed about our screen time? Was binge-watching three seasons Love makes you blind is there anything worse than scrolling through TikTok until someone convinces me that making something called “Sleepy Chicken” would actually be a good idea?

As it turns out, I was right to be worried. Recently, while on the phone with my (wonderful) boyfriend, he was debriefing his day (a necessary but boring tradition in many long-distance relationships), I heard myself say the words, “This isn’t adding anything to my life, so I’m leaving now,” and then recoiled in horror. I had basically just parroted the words of Alexandra Jarvis as she came out of a “bonding session” with the Sale of the OC team in a scene I’d seen three days earlier. The second I uttered those words, I knew I had to cancel my Hayu subscription. Watching rich, genetically blessed people make terrible choices might have made me (temporarily) think better about the state of my own life, but the chaos they left behind had warped my worldview.

And apparently I am not alone. Natalie*, 26, broke up with her boyfriend last year after she found out he had cheated on her. “That was at the same time that Scandoval was on Vanderpump Rules and I felt a strange connection to Ariana (Madix),” says the London-based production assistant. “There were times when I couldn’t put my anger into words, and her story arc helped me understand my feelings.” Not only did she urge all of her friends to take sides, but in a moment of anger during a text message exchange with her former partner, she even used Madix’s infamous words: “You’re worthless.” “I personalized the show so much that my reaction seemed appropriate… (but) while Ariana was becoming famous, landing Broadway gigs and Duracell endorsements, I was seething with hatred all alone in my bedroom.”

Of course, the reality TV industry is designed to seduce and influence us in this way. “As a genre, it puts people in situations where their inner meanness comes out,” says Bish Sen, an associate professor at the University of Oregon who has taught a course on reality TV for more than a decade. “Like all art, it is an extreme version of life, only here confrontation and intrigue are the focus.” And its stars don’t just behave in an over-the-top (and headline-grabbing) way when they’re officially “on screen.” Think of the Real Housewives Reunions that make us feel like we’re “behind the scenes” of a show that’s supposed to be open-ended, blurring the line between reality and TV even further. Watching the crew sing “Five, four, three, two, one” as the cameras prepare to roll almost makes you feel like you’re part of the production – a conscious decision by the network. And then there’s social media to consider. Remember Vanderpump RulesKatie Maloney calls Jo Wenberg a “creep” in the comments section and Scheana Shay releases the track “Apples” (“Narcissistic psycho / Cut you out like lipo”) after Scandoval.