Bride defends herself after telling her sister’s boyfriend he couldn’t bring his child to the wedding
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A bride-to-be was defended after she refused to invite her sister’s boyfriend’s child to her wedding.
In a recent post on the popular Reddit forum Am I the Asshole?, a woman shared that she is getting married later this year and her sister will be her maid of honor. However, her sister recently split from her husband of 15 years – she called him Rhys – and is now dating someone she met at work.
According to the bride, she hasn’t spent much time with her sister’s new partner, whom she calls Brandon, and neither has the groom. “I’ve met him briefly a couple of times before, but I don’t know him very well,” she explained. “He’s quite nice, but my (future husband) has never met him and, like I said, I don’t really know him myself.”
However, before the bride’s sister started a new relationship, her ex-husband was invited to the wedding because he had been married to the maid of honor for 15 years and was “an important part of the family.”
Since Rhys didn’t want to come to the wedding after the breakup, “Brandon assumed he was invited in his place.” Although the Reddit user “didn’t like” that Brandon made this assumption, she let it go. However, she later learned that Brandon had invited his daughter to the event without permission, which ultimately posed a problem.
“(My sister) tells me that Brandon told his daughter Kelly, whose children he co-parents with his ex, that they are both coming to my wedding, so Kelly is really excited,” the bride-to-be added. “I reminded my sister that we are having a ‘child-free’ wedding, which was communicated to all the invitees, as we do not have children of our own, do not want children, and therefore do not want children at our wedding, which is fine with all of our family and friends.”
The Reddit user added that when the 10-year-old met Kelly in person, she was “unfortunately a complete brat” and “definitely not a child” she wanted at the wedding, regardless of whether children were allowed to attend or not.
The maid of honor initially thought the problem with Kelly’s invitation was money, so she “initially offered to pay for her place.” However, the bride-to-be instead emphasized that she did not like Kelly and that no children were allowed at the wedding.
“Brandon overstepped his authority by assuming his child could come without first speaking to me and my (future husband). I also calmly told her that she knew we were having a child-free wedding and should have told him right away to avoid this,” she continued. “It’s also not fair to our other friends and family members who have arranged childcare for their own children to accommodate our wishes.”
The maid of honor was still upset, claiming it was “difficult” for her to tell her boyfriend he couldn’t bring Kelly because she was “excited” to go to the wedding. The bride-to-be then acknowledged that it wasn’t her problem, claiming she was “not responsible for (Brandon) trying to interfere in a family event that he wasn’t invited to in the first place.”
Finally, the bride-to-be noted that he offered to speak to Brandon, but her sister ultimately declined the offer.
The Reddit post quickly went viral, garnering more than 6,000 upvotes. In the comments, several people defended the bride’s decision not to invite Kelly to the wedding, while criticizing Brandon for assuming he would be able to bring his daughter to the event.
“It’s enough that you’re having a child-free wedding. It’s not your problem that he made that assumption. It’s not your problem that your sister didn’t automatically correct him. Let (your sister) tell him. If he doesn’t want to come, so be it. If she decides to back out, let her. Don’t give in to ‘peace arguments’. You’ll regret it,” one wrote. “If you think he’s bringing his daughter, make sure there’s someone there to keep her away from the ceremony and reception.”
“It’s not right when someone invites not only themselves to your wedding but their child as well. You might want to have a maid of honor on standby in case she decides this hill is a place worth dying for,” wrote another. “Don’t give in. Think of all the people who have found babysitters because there are no kids.”
“It’s a child-free wedding,” wrote a third. “There’s nothing else to discuss. It’s your day and that’s a requirement. She’s over-extended her assumptions. She’s put herself in an uncomfortable position.”
