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In today’s news, which is not fit for print but could certainly be read by Cary Dubek, it says: “Chick-fil-A, known for its chicken sandwiches,” is launching its own streaming service “to produce family-friendly shows, particularly in the unscripted space.” How fabulous! In a breaking exclusive, Deadline reports that the restaurant chain has earmarked a budget of $400,000 per half-hour episode for its unscripted series and also aims to develop scripted and animated series as well as license and acquire content. The Chick-fil-A streaming service’s program offering already includes tenPiece Episode order for a family-friendly game show from the production company that brought you Dead girls don’t lie, This is a remarkable coincidence, as this news is probably the 13th reason for everyone to be concerned about the state of the industry.

If Chick-fil-A is known for anything other than its chicken, it is probably the company’s longstanding institutional resistance to progress on LGBTQ+ rights. In the years before Obergefell v. Hodges, Chick-fil-A has frequently made headlines for its donations to organizations that oppose gay marriage and support conversion therapy, as well as the guilt as charged by President Dan Cathy. Although the company has stopped its direct donations to these discriminatory organizations, its discriminatory reputation remains and goes beyond homophobia, as Texas’s moves to ban abortion were paved with the state’s 2019 “Save Chick-fil-A” law.

The company still touts its “biblical principles” and states that its corporate purpose is to “glorify God.” Its definition of “family-friendly” programming may end up being more fundamentalist than one would expect from a streaming service owned by a fast-food company. With these values ​​in mind, I asked my fellow writers new York Senior Social Media Editor Zach Schiffman and vulture critic Jackson McHenry if they had any off-the-cuff pitches for the network. McHenry suggested “Straight Eye for the Queer Guy” and “Christian Shop Date,” which play on the chicken theme.

“They should do a show called ‘Don’t Kiss,’ where they put a bunch of gay guys in a Chick-fil-A restaurant and make money if they don’t kiss,” Schiffman suggested. He also suggested “a prank show where you don’t say your order at the drive-thru, you say a Bible verse.” Candace Cameron Bure might actually win an Emmy someday as host of a Chick-fil-A Plus original show, “Don’t Kiss.”