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A groom confessed that he asked the band to leave in the middle of the wedding reception when he learned that the singer was his ex.

In a recent post shared on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the Asshole?”, a man talked about his wedding, specifically recalling that when he arrived at the reception, he “recognized the singer in the band as his ex-girlfriend from high school.” He noted that while he had spotted his ex at the first dance, he hadn’t spoken to her in over 15 years.

He also confessed that he hadn’t spoken to his wife about his past relationships, explaining that all she knew was that he had three ex-girlfriends. However, the groom still found it strange to see his ex at his wedding and asked his wife about the band.

“During the dance, I couldn’t help but just focus on the fact that she was up there on stage. I know my wife was in charge of the music that day,” he explained. “She never told me what she booked and I never asked. I asked her why she chose that band. She said she went through an entertainment agency and saw the ex’s portfolio, which was good and within budget, so she booked it.”

According to the groom, he told his bride that the singer was his ex from high school and that he “didn’t feel comfortable with her performing.” Although she thought it was “a weird coincidence,” she still questioned her partner, asking why the band was a problem since he was with the singer so long ago. Although his wife encouraged him not to make a “big deal” about the situation because the band was “doing a good job,” the groom still felt “weird” and wanted to talk to his ex.

From there, he explained that his ex recognized him and remained “very professional,” but he still didn’t want her at the event.

“She said she didn’t know it was going to be my wedding and only found out when she came to the venue to prepare and saw some other mutual friends. I told her to get ready in the next 30 minutes and then leave. She looked shocked and so did her band members,” he added. “I assured them it wasn’t because of the performance.”

Although a band member told the groom that he would not get his money back because it was “a change of mind on the day” of the wedding, he said he would not seek a refund from the group.

He added that his wife was “furious” when he told her what had happened. She then asked him questions about his ex. He then offered to replace the band with a DJ.

“(She) kept asking me why this was such a big deal over an ex and if I still had feelings for her. I said no, that’s absurd, but I felt uncomfortable being reminded of my past relationship at the worst possible time,” he continued. “She told me I was wasting her money. I told her we could hire another DJ immediately with the help of the venue, which I would pay in full.”

The bride claimed the DJ was “another waste of money” before telling her husband his “emotions are too fragile to see the bigger picture.”

However, when the band left, the groom went to the wedding venue manager and got a DJ, who did a “great job” at the wedding. He noted that while all of his “guests seemed to be having a good time” and didn’t notice that he had replaced the band with a DJ, his wife “didn’t enjoy the reception at all.”

He concluded that the wedding night ended in misfortune for him and his wife because she “went straight to bed in the hotel” that evening.

In the comments, many people did not hesitate to criticize the groom, claiming that he should not have worried about his ex being at the wedding, especially since they had not spoken in over a decade. They also accused him of putting his own needs ahead of his wife’s on the wedding day.

“I wouldn’t marry someone as fragile as you,” one wrote. “And you ruined your wife’s wedding day. You were quite selfish and only thought about yourself. Trust me, you will be hearing about this for years to come (and you should). My condolences to your poor wife.”

“You ruined your new wife’s night because of a high school ex. You ruined the band’s performance and unilaterally decided that your brand new wife should settle for a lesser musical alternative because you can’t handle a non-issue,” wrote another.

“Kicking out a perfectly good band because you can’t stand being in the same room as an ex you dated 15 years ago in high school is incredibly immature and unsafe. The incident unnecessarily disrupted your wedding celebration and surely cast a shadow over the day that your wife will have a hard time getting over,” wrote a third.

Many people also questioned how involved the groom was in the wedding planning since he didn’t know the band, and encouraged him to discuss the situation with his new wife.

“If you had taken a more active role in planning your own wedding, you would have known what band your partner wanted. Instead, your lack of consideration and commitment resulted in a memorable disappointment for your wife,” one wrote.

“For the sake of your marriage, you need to figure out why you couldn’t handle this situation. Why were you so uncomfortable that you couldn’t end the reception without making this big change? Why is this high school ex such a problem 15 years later, after you just committed to your wife?” wrote another.