VViolence against women on British trains has risen by 50% in two years, it was reported this week. The news barely raised a wink from my friends, so commonplace are sexual assaults and aggression on public transport. Society seems to be at a crossroads, dangerously close to accepting that fondling, squeezing or groping is just another everyday occurrence for women on their commute to work. Cruel, but not unlikely. And hardly a crime. Or is it?

Unless it Is. Of course it is. It’s just that the system, from the railroads to the courts, seems to have accepted the opposite.

I was sexually assaulted on a Thameslink train. Someone grabbed and fondled my bottom as I stood up to walk away from him because he was very drunk and I was heavily pregnant. I hadn’t been worried about the assault, but how unsteady he was on his feet and so close to my stomach. I was a few weeks from my due date and travelling with my medical records as required. As I walked past him and felt his warm hand creep under my coat and onto my body, I instinctively understood that sexual abuse is nothing to do with sex, it is everything to do with power, control and the need to tell a woman what her attacker is doing. could Do.

I screamed at him and tried to change carriages, but his friends followed me onto the (driverless) train, where they stood outside the doors, blocking my exit and telling me that “everyone” knew I was lying. I recorded this on my phone. The shaky video shows the curve of my stomach looming over my sneakers, the leather tips of their shoes poking into the top of the frame as my voice swells with fear.

The video cuts off as someone intervenes: a quick-witted woman appeared at the carriage door and asked if I wanted to sit with her and her boyfriend. Her non-confrontational tone and the three magic words “and my boyfriend” seemed to work. I was released from the carriage and was able to text the British Transport Police (on 61016), who met me at my destination station and arrested the man as he exited the train.

A third stranger went to the police and said she had seen the attack and offered to testify as a witness if I wanted to pursue it further. The case went to court and I was confident that a sober woman with a witness would be taken seriously in a case where the prosecution would be up against a man almost too drunk to stand.

And yet.

The judge returned a verdict of not guilty. In summing up his decision, he explained that a conviction would have a major impact on the man’s life and although he was sure that I intended To be reliable, there was a very real possibility that I was in an emotional state due to my pregnancy and therefore could not give accurate information.

What I learned from this testimony is that we can ask passersby to intervene as often as we like – effectively taking on the responsibility of passengers to police public transport in the absence of conductors and station staff – but as long as courts prioritise the “huge impact” on the offender’s life, nothing will change. Of course, timely and well-considered intervention can prevent a situation from escalating, but if we want to reduce assaults on public transport, we need to do more than rely on the good nature of fellow passengers.

Trains need to be adequately staffed, especially on routes like mine, where there are long breaks between stops and no way to get off. Travellers need to understand that the bright lighting on trains is not there to disturb them during their post-pub nap, but to increase the efficiency of the existing CCTV. And that CCTV needs to work. Most importantly, you need to be convinced that when – as in my case – all the other dominoes fall in a row, a judge will indeed decide that the “enormous impact” on a woman’s life is worth just as much as that on the life of her tormentor.

The recent riots and their rapid resolution have revealed a strikingly strong link between crime and swift, visible consequences as a deterrent. I am far from recommending further pressure on our already broken prison system, but right now perpetrators know that sexual violence is simply not taken seriously by the courts. Turning this around will require money and careful policy, and I am keen to see whether this new government, which has promised to halve violence against women and girls, will commit to both.

As for bystanders, I welcome and encourage their intervention. Even the Mayor of London’s somewhat maligned “Say maaate to a mate” campaign has at least started a discussion about the important act of men holding their fellow men to account. In my case, it was the offer of company that helped. No one offered to speak for me, get in my way or start a fight, just extended an invitation. It worked.

I understand that many of us are afraid of escalating the situation and that men in particular don’t want to impose themselves as an additional complication, as additional decision-making power for a woman. But this offer can make all the difference. Not only in letting an offender know they have been seen, but also in reassuring a victim that it actually happened. Something the courts are reluctant to recognize.