The mother of 10-month-old Adaiba also told PEOPLE she was surprised at how quickly her daughter had grown: “I stand here every day and watch, and it goes so fast.”

• Orange is the new black Actress Uzo Aduba gave birth to her daughter Adaiba with her husband, filmmaker Robert Sweeting, in November 2023

• “I didn’t know how fast it would happen,” the Emmy winner tells PEOPLE about motherhood

• In her memoirs, Aduba remembers her own mother, who died of pancreatic cancer in November 2021 The Way is Good: How a Mother’s Strength Became a Daughter’s Destiny

She spent years behind bars in Orange is the new blackstruggled with losses in In treatment and fought as the first black congresswoman, Shirley Chisholm, for women’s rights in Mrs Americabut nothing could prepare Uzo Aduba for becoming a mother.

“People say it, and I have seven nieces and nephews, but you don’t know how little sleep you get in the beginning until you experience it yourself,” Aduba, 43, tells PEOPLE. “In college, I could have sleepless nights. It’s not the same. It wouldn’t surprise me if The Art of WarSleep deprivation is used as a tactic. I understand why this is a crime against humanity. It’s just on another level.”

Related: Uzo Aduba ‘Was So Sure’ She Wouldn’t Find Love Until She Met Robert Sweeting: ‘He Made Me Feel Safe’ (Exclusive)

Aduba and her husband Robert Sweeting welcomed their first child, a daughter named Adaiba, in November 2023, and the actress can’t believe how quickly time has passed since then.

“I didn’t know how fast it would happen,” says Aduba, whose memoirs The Way is Good: How a Mother’s Strength Became a Daughter’s Destiny is out now. “Maybe because (with) my nieces and nephews there is an expectation that I’ll miss stages because I’m not sitting there watching. But I’m here every day watching and it’s happening so fast. Some things I can’t believe. I don’t know when I thought they were going to happen, but I know I didn’t think they were going to happen in this time frame and at this speed.”

The Emmy winner calls this phenomenon both “beautiful and hard.”

“The parents who are on the other side, where their kids are out of the house or have gotten married and have grandchildren of their own, they say, ‘It’s going so fast.’ I say, ‘I think I might understand a little bit of what you mean because I can’t believe we’re here already,'” Aduba says. “It’s hard work to be so happy that we’re here and to let them continue to grow and develop in this independent way, and then I say, ‘But don’t grow up too fast.’ You want to persevere.”

Don’t miss a story – sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

In her new memoir, Aduba remembers her late mother Nonyem, who died of pancreatic cancer in November 2021, and talks about the influence her mother had on her throughout her life. Aduba wishes her mother could have been there during her pregnancy.

“When I was pregnant, I was often sad because I thought, ‘Man, of all the moments I wish she could be there for, I wish it was this one,'” Aduba admits. “I was also really sad because I was nervous because I didn’t have what I thought everyone else had, which was their mom to show you how to do it. I felt cheated because I couldn’t fully showcase those things to be a great mom to my daughter.”

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword puzzle is here! How fast can you solve it? Play now!

However, Nonyem has enjoyed success in a very special way since the Boston University graduate gave birth to her daughter last year.

“I’m amazed every day at how much of Nonyem literally lives inside of me,” says Aduba. “How some of the things she said to me, my sister, growing up, come out of me. My mother is known for always saying ‘no, no, no’ when she speaks to you. When it first came out of my mouth, I was like ‘who said that?’ I promise you, I’ve never said that before.”

Related: Orange is the new blackUzo Aduba Remembers the Unexpected Person Who Taught Her to Love Her Gap Teeth (Exclusive)

Unknowingly adopting this phrase from her mother made Aduba “really happy” because it showed her that our loved ones “never leave us.”

“Almost like The Lion Kingthey live in you,” says Aduba. “They really do. I get all the wonderful things that I’m meant to pass on because she put so much into me and left enough for me to pour into her. I’m grateful for that.”

Subscribe to our newsletter to receive more People news!

Read the original article on People.