The Braves played a baseball game on Monday night that they lost 9-0, knocking them out of the playoffs once again (for now?). The game itself is largely irrelevant at this point. I’ll be honest, I watched the Mets leave the Nationals rather than actually watch this game, for much of it (until the Mets game ended and I was forced to watch this one). So rather than describe the events as they happened, let’s just talk about a few things.

Objectively speaking, this game was hilarious. The Braves had four barrels, the Dodgers had none. And yet the Dodgers hit the only home run; the Braves scored zero runs, the Dodgers nine. Yes, the Braves’ pitchers had a poor 9/7 K/BB ratio, but the Dodgers managed only a 5/3 K/BB ratio. Put another way, the Braves had a 9.00 ERA, 5.28 FIP, and 4.85 xFIP, which is anything but good. But the Dodgers had a 0.00 ERA, 3.39 FIP, and 5.07 xFIP. Of course, things happen in a single game where the results are completely unrelated to performance, but nine runs of dissociation? Mamma mia, that’s a lot of dissociation.

The Braves did not score any runs in this game for the following reasons:

• In the first inning, after a leadoff walk and a throwing error on a steal attempt moved Michael Harris II to third base with one out, Marcell Ozuna hit a hard grounder… right to the third baseman, and later Ramon Laureano also hit a grounder to the third baseman for the third out.
• In the second inning, Sean Murphy destroyed a pitch to center from Yoshinobu Yamamoto and hit a double (108 mph, 400 feet, but not a home run). He got to third base on a groundout, but a strikeout and a groundout followed.
• In the third inning, Harris hit a single, and then it was Jorge Soler’s turn to smash a ball into center (112 mph, 388 feet)… only to have Harris thrown out at the plate. Two more grounders ended the run.

But wait, none of them are even the funniest!

• In the fourth inning, Laureano hit a leadoff triple (another barrel that bounced hard off the right outfield wall). The Braves then went for a strikeout, a roller to shortstop with the infield in play, and a wounded duck at less than 80 mph that, of course, headed straight for a fielder. Incidentally, that sequence meant the Braves sent Harris to the bench with no out and Ozuna/Matt Olson starting. But then they didn’t send Laureano home on a contact play with one out and Gio Urshela at the plate. That’s a shocking level of distrust of Ozuna/Olson, and a shocking level of trust in Urshela.

Here’s how the Dodgers have scored runs:

• A walk, a bouncer to first base that eventually moved the runner to second base because Olson dropped the ball and couldn’t catch the runner with his throw to second base, a steal of third base, and a wild pitch.
• A ground rule double and then a 70 mph bloop single that happened while batter Miguel Rojas was falling to the ground as a result of the swing. Just to be clear: hitting balls incredibly hard up the middle = no runs; hitting balls at 70 mph while falling to the ground = some runs.
• A grounder by Shohei Ohtani that was hit in such a way that neither shortstop Orlando Arcia nor Whit Merrifield were able to make a double play.

Then, later, after Max Fried left, Daysbel Hernandez came in and walked three batters. Things then immediately got even funnier when Aaron Bummer was called in medium (at least it wasn’t low!) leverage and got a weak grounder from Ohtani to Whit Merrifield at second base… which Merrifield caught awkwardly and for some reason awkwardly threw home, leading to a fielder’s choice with no outs and another run. A sight-in grounder brought in a fifth run, and then the coup de grace: Freddie Freeman hit a routine fly ball that happened to find its way into the left field corner and just over the fence. It was the 11th hardest hit ball of the game and flew less far than five balls the Braves put in play, but was still the only home run. If that doesn’t sum up 2024 for you, I don’t know what else will.

Max Fried was pretty good, although his time on the mound reminded me of the article I read about ten years ago about how Nolan Ryan was really good at pitching but really bad at everything else, so the runs credited to him throughout his career were always higher than his actual pitching performance. I’m not saying that was the case with Fried tonight, not exactly – just that this is two starts in a row where Fried pitched better than well, but basically got done in by stuff that doesn’t normally kill anyone.

The Mets, meanwhile, won their game in part because the Nationals, as the visiting team, decided to bunt in extra innings and then hit two consecutive grounders to shortstop. So the Braves will now head to Cincinnati hoping that maybe 2024 will be a little different from here on out, although we all know it won’t be, with about two weeks left to play. Stay tuned for the final wOBA-xwOBA results for this game, which will probably be even more fun than what we can guess from the Baseball Savant game feed.