If a friend When a group of Mormon moms turned TikTok influencers went viral on TikTok, the drama centered around a rumor that each of the moms (and their partners) were participating in soft swinging—essentially attending parties and swapping partners with each other. Led by TikTok star Taylor Frankie Paul, the rumor went from an unrelated confession on TikTok Live to national headlines, putting each mom in the spotlight. Now, nearly two years later, the #MomTok swingers are back, with a reality TV show on Hulu that showcases the swinging rumors in full HD. But in the swinger community, where sharing partners at events isn’t a scandal but a committed lifestyle, several creators tell Rolling Stone they are pretty tired of being ridiculed. “There was fraud. There were no clear boundaries, no clear rules. They just acted on their feelings,” says one of them about the scandal that came to light last year. “And it all blew up in their faces.”

The Secret Life of Mormon WivesHulu’s latest reality show, featuring the stars of #MomTok, picks up almost directly where the online drama began, explaining to viewers how the content house around moms began. The drama first went viral in 2022 after Paul announced she was splitting from her husband. After publicly declaring that the two would co-parent, Paul told her followers in a now-infamous TikTok Live that behind the picture-perfect content house was a secret swinger friend group that destroyed her marriage. “Nobody is innocent,” Paul said. “Everybody slept with everybody.”

According to the posts, no one was allowed to go to extremes unless both spouses were in the room, but Paul claimed her divorce was specifically because she broke those swinger rules with a friend’s husband. Starring Paul and a number of other Mormon wives, the show tackles women’s issues with motherhood, relationships, and the church (all set to blaring pop music with a religious background. Words like “sinner” or “unholy” are used frequently). But while swinging is the topic on everyone’s lips, it quickly becomes clear that it wasn’t everyone’s pastime – at least not to the extent that Paul originally implied.

Like many relationship dynamics, swinging is often discussed in online spaces like Reddit and TikTok. Unlike strict non-monogamy or polyamory, swinging is often a couple dynamic, meaning partners share. But when the #MomTok swinger scandal first made national headlines, swinger couple Lacy and Dan M. Rolling Stone They were already frustrated that their lifestyle was being portrayed in such a negative light, especially since they already felt stigmatized and misunderstood.

“If you ever watch a TV show about swinging, if you ever hear stories about it, even when we’ve been contacted by reality shows a lot, they always want to focus on the negative,” Lacy says. “And I think that’s what the #MomTok scandal is about. It’s about the dark side of swinging and if you’re not informed and you haven’t done your research, it can go wrong very, very quickly. And I just think that’s a story that people just love to jump on.”

Dan notes that the drama behind the #MomTok swinger scandal — particularly Paul’s claim that she ignored the rules she and her husband had established — fits the narrative that swingers are promiscuous cheaters who ignore the rules and personal boundaries of others. Just as living in a polycule brings a lifetime of house meetings and check-ins, couples who follow proper swinger etiquette really value consent and ground rules.

“Just like monogamy, you have to get to know people and be comfortable with them,” says Dan. “What are you into? What are your rules? Where are your boundaries? And I don’t think people understand that. They just think it’s one big sex party that anyone can join.”

According to Candice C. & Eric Z., another swinger couple who share educational videos about the lifestyle on TikTok, there is already an abundance of stigma towards swingers. People assume that swinger couples are dirty, have STDs, are sex-obsessed, are on the verge of divorce, and are lurking to steal spouses from unsuspecting people. The couple says that while there are bad actors in every community, the large percentage of swingers and swinger groups they know are extremely concerned with building a good reputation – something that is evident in the following: Mormon women could inadvertently derail.

“Swingers are big on protection, consent and STD testing. People take that seriously,” says Candice. “So it’s a little disturbing when it’s portrayed in a scandalous way. For us, that’s not what this lifestyle should be about. Swinging is about professionals, adults, everything consensual and everyone on the same page. So it annoys me every time I see the (#MomTok swingers).”

Eric echoes this anger. “They don’t know what they’re really talking about. That’s not really the lifestyle, so it’s just going to reinforce the stigma of what they think that lifestyle is, and we don’t want to be dragged into that,” Eric adds. “Because people who have that lifestyle will immediately denounce it, laugh at it, brush it off. It’s more the people who are at home, bored in the evenings, looking for a TV show. They end up watching it. And then of course they see the stigmatized side, the fake side, the cheating, and think that’s it.”

All swingers who spoke to us Rolling Stone stress that although they cannot do anything about misunderstandings, the Mormon women Show could go on, they focus on educating and demystifying swinging for people who might be interested in the lifestyle. And even if the creators of #MomTok aren’t telling the truth or were committed or even one-time swingers, the problem isn’t that they may have all been together – the problem is that rules may have been broken.

“(Fraud) can happen,” Lacy says. “But if you do your research and take the time to educate yourself, you can swing better and maybe even learn something about yourself.”